Thursday, 21 July 2011

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

Taking a trip down memory lane today I found a note that I wrote when I first found out I was pregnant with Joshua, my youngest. Just thought I would share.

Hannah was going to be our last child, so when I became pregnant, while more or less on the pill, we were very surprised and shocked. But Angus came alone and he has fit it very well :-).

Then when I had an early miscarriage last year, we definitely didn't want it to happen again. I was 39, we live in a small shoebox of a house, and because of our financial situation and our car etc, etc, etc. So I decided to have a Mirena inserted. It is similar to the pill but lasts for 5 years and they claim is more successful in stopping pregnancies.

About 1 1/2 weeks ago I started to feel a little sick, went off coffee... a feeling that I know very well ... hmmm.

I went to the doctor, had a pregnancy test, and guess what it showed a faint positive. The doctor then referred me to get an early ultrasound. I went last Friday and there measuring 1.6 cms, with a little heart going at 167 bpm was my little baby, about 8 weeks old with no sign of any Mirena at all.
So here I am... lol, 40 years old and pregnant with my 4th baby. We can’t fit in the house we live in now and we will definitely not fit in our car when this little one is born. My Dad bought me this car in 2007. He thought I was stupid when I fell pregnant with Angus, I hate to think about what he will think of me now.

We really have tried. It is not like we haven’t taken care. I am 40 I am not supposed to be so fertile. But what to do.
This past week I have experienced the full range of emotions. I have been so depressed and spent about 3 days straight crying, but that is past, thank goodness. I apologise for being a bit out of it lately. I have had a lot on my mind. I feel ok now. All I know is looking at that little jellybean with its' little heart beating away so fast... I fell in love :-). We will cope I guess...

Having read this again, I realised that things do have a habit of working out. Joshua is 18 months old now and I cannot imagine life without him. We live in a bigger house, I now have a Kia Carnival, a people mover, that we all fit into nicely (even room for one more! hmm...). That is thanks to my Dad too.

I tend to worry about anything and everything. It is something that I really need to work on. I know that worry accomplishes absolutely nothing. It just makes me physically sick, immobilises me and stops me from either fixing the problem or just letting it go.

What are some things that you do to help you relax and stop worrying about things?


  1. Having met with psychologist of sorts to help me deal with the effects of my depression, I have a small cache of 'tools' which have helped - and continue to help me - to stop worry stopping me enjoying life. Writing down what's worrying me and then throwing away the page as if to say "I'm done with that feeling right now"; going for a walk either by myself or with my dog - it's worth the effort just to see how excited she gets when she sees the leash!; bubbles - get a child's bubble kit, make up the solution and then blow the feeling (worry) into the bubbles and watch them float away. They're simple things, but I have found them very effective. They're not remedies, they're coping tools with instructions "repeat as necessary". I remind myself, too, that it is perfectly okay to 'feel'.... even if that feeling is sometimes negative... but once done with the feeling - release it. xxx

  2. such a good plan not to worry!! I'm 40 and can't imagine going back for another one. My youngest is three (we have 3 girls). So glad your don't worry attitude worked so well. :)

  3. Great post Mel. One thing is for sure, planned or not, all your babies are much loved and precious gifts arn't they. Might be a good idea not to fill the spare seat in the KIA though, if you can help it :) xxAng

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