Friday, 15 March 2013

Bullying - My Personal Experience


I was 13, Grade 9 at high school, timid, shy, self conscious. 

At school, for the most part I kept to myself. I was nervous and felt exposed. Kids tended to ignore me and apart from feeling like everyone were secretly laughing at me for being shy and watching me because I was all alone; I managed to get through my days ok. 

My mum picked me up every afternoon. We didn't live very far from the school. About 7-8 minutes drive. Mum picked me up from the front of the school. One of the school buses carried the kids that lived quite a distance from the school, but the bus went right past our house, as we lived on the main road. 

So my dear Mum decided that the bus could make a special stop just for little old me. Unbeknownst to me she spoke with the bus driver and he agreed to make the extra stop. 

The next day I got on the bus, with this group of kids, that all knew each other , and all lived near each other and had been travelling on the bus together all year. I felt like everyone’s eyes were just boring straight into me, and when the bus stopped and I got out, they all started to jeer. 

The next day, although I pleaded with Mum to pick me up, she didn't, so I got on the bus again. This time the kids knew what was going to happen. So they started straight away – “Why don’t you walk? “What a lazy b****!” Why are you so special? I sat there and willed the seat to eat me up. My stomach knotted into a ball of nerves and tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. 

As I got up and walked to the front, someone stuck their leg out and I went down. I shot up so quick, bright red and got off the bus with my head low, while they all laughed uproariously at me. This time the tears flowed as I walked through the gate and into the sanctuary of home. 

Mum told me that I was being too soft and as the next day was Friday, I should see the week out and then if I really didn't like it, she would pick me up again. 

Friday afternoon arrived and I was a bit late getting to the bus. There were no seats left, so I stood. I was the only one standing. The taunts started up. “We don’t want you on our bus”, “You are just a lazy cow”. Then they all started to laugh. Really laugh. The tears started and I could stop them. Then they turned into sobs. There I was all alone, ashamed, embarrassed, feeling physically sick, shaking with nerves and absolutely terrified. The laughter continued until I got to my stop and I forced my petrified legs to move and walk down the steps to get off the bus as quickly as possible. 

I ran home, closed the front door, put my bag down and sank into an exhausted heap on the carpet. Then I saw the reason for their laughter. Someone had stuck a piece of paper to the back of my bag. It had an obscene message scrawled on it. 




Never underestimate the power that bullying has on children.


If you are concerned that your child may be a victim of bullying. Act on it straight away.


Bullying is never OK. There is no excuse.


Parents, try to look for warning signs - Not wanting to go to school, clothing is torn, items are missing, poor health, drop in academic performance.


Please don’t ignore it.




Today is National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence


Please take a look at Bullying No Way and find out all about it.








Melanie

13 comments:

  1. Hi Melanie, I just found yoi via With Some Grace FYBF. Thank you for sharing your story, such an important issue. I know it was many years ago, but I am sorry the 13 year old you had to go through that xx

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  2. So sorry you had that awful experience. Thank you for sharing your story .
    It is hard to know how bullying gets dismissed so easily and the victims are told to stand up for themselves and they are at fault for whatever reason. Though they do need to help themselves , it is time we all had a zero tolerance.

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    Replies
    1. Yes zero tolerance is what is needed. Kids are affected so deeply by things. Thanks for your comment. xx

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  3. It's upsetting this week hearing and reading of people's experiences of being bullied, so sorry you endured that. You don't say whether it was ever handled by adults or if you even shared it. I've written on bullying this week too, from a parents' perspective. Frankly, when your heart goes out to your innocent child, especially when they are now in secondary school and less you can do about it, it isn't much different to going through it directly yourself. xx

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    1. Thanks Twitchy. I never told anybody the details. Just sort of skimmed over it. That was probably the most I have ever written about that horrible time. It is hard to write about and it must be so hard when it is your child going through it. My heart goes out to you. xx

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  4. I know exactly the pain you felt as a 13 year old, as I had it when I was that age too.

    You never forget it.


    (via FYBF)

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    1. As a child, you feel things so strongly and it can really scar can't it. Thanks so much for your comment. xxx

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  5. I am guessing you convinced Mum to pick you up thereafter :)
    I'm glad you are you Melanie. I'm not glad that you had to go through this kind of thing in order to get to be who you are now.
    Hugs
    K

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  6. I am so grateful that my Daughter attends a school with an excellent anti bullying policy and a zero tolerance approach. I too was bullied at school and I still cringe at the memory today. I think that it is so helpful when adults speak out and talk about the emotional scars they carry, it may just be the words a bully needs to hear to make them realise what they are doing is causing damage. Thank you for sharing your story. Linking up with Blogs and PR- Talk to us Thursday

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  7. Amazing how things like this can affect you for life - we need to be both aware if our children are being bullied and also if they are the bullies and immediately get help in both situations.

    Thanks for linking up

    Annaleis - Blogs and PR Team member

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  8. The idea that my child could be a victim of bullying is terrifying. To go through what you did is abhorrent.
    I can only recall once feeling like that when a girl was after me. Luckily for me, it only lasted one blue light disco night and the following Monday morning. I can't imagine what it would be like to be subjected to that kind of treatment for longer.
    My son was recently punched - his first week of pre-school! He wasn't the only one and the teachers are aware, but even to this day seeing his reaction to this kid is horrible (just last week he rubbed his forehead, had a concerned look on his face and said 'oh, no, that's the naughty boy).
    I wish no one had to go through experiences like these.
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

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  9. Thank you for sharing your story. I hate the idea of any child being bullied, and am hyper aware now when my kids talk about things that go on in the playground. Hopefully schools are starting to take it more seriously these days and offer a little more support all round. Fingers crossed.

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Thank you for commenting! I love all comments. You are the best <3

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